Tuesday, December 30, 2008
TOP TEN LINKS TO READ WHILE COUNTING THE CLOCK AT WORK TOMORROW
1. This disturbing story puts into detail the deaths of the Challenger astronauts.
2. Time Warner customers might find themselves asking if they want their MTV.
3. Anyone else think that it is funny when the extremist on the left ruin things for the man they follow like Christ?
4. There is no end to the whole 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon thing.
5. The end of the WHITE RAT in Denver.
6. Kansans, be scared.
7. Deb Herman says that the sky is blue and grass is green.
8. I have never understood why we just don't allow the people of Israel to wipe these bastards out. This thing would of been over a long time ago if we just turned them loose.
9. Breast feeding on Face Book is controversial but Breast feeding in the middle of the mall is just fine?
10. The Clintons will be dropping the ball in Times Square. I will give them a pass this time.
This seasons year in crime is about to come to an end. I for one am glad that the Mayor is all over this issue with programs such as____________&_________________, and lets not forget about_________. These great programs have done wonders for the safety of the youth in this city.
1. Last minute work is being put in by those seeking to set personal bests in Murder. Belmont Blvd. That folks is #126
2. If the guy can't even find his son how the hell is he suppose to find criminals that aren't related to him?
3. Remember the episode of Leave it to Beaver when Wally & the Beav stumbled across the meth lab? Yeah me neither. Some things are just meant to stay in Missouri.
4. HOW have we gone most of the year with little mention of RUSKIN! Thank god this guy got shot to remind me of that crap hole part of the city.
5. Gang Bangers will have to party some place else.
6. Not even the inmates of OZ had cable TV.
TO BE CONTINUED
Monday, December 29, 2008
It isn't like this is surprising news to anyone that pays attention to what is going on in the inner city. These so called leaders and activists are overseeing one of the most deadly years in KCMO history yet they remain "leaders". How does this happen? When will the people of the East Side see their supposed leaders for what they are?
Leaders that fail get fired unless they are called "community activists". Has the East Sides crime rate gotten better? Is there new thriving business in the community? Is the blight gone? These leaders have failed their community in unforgivable ways and should simply do the honorable thing and step aside.
That's right, there are 2 local Kwanzaa celebrations in JOCO this year. Those of you looking for an excuse to leave work and celebrate the , holiday now have an excuse. Be sure to pick up some of the great Kwanzaa crafts.
For those of you in JOCO that are still baffled by this holiday here is a helpful link for you to better educate yourselves on this holiday. I can not however find the listing for "Charlie Browns Kwanzaa".
By the way the man that invinted Kwanzaa hates America and enjoys torturing females.
Further proof that if you live in KCMO your life is in danger at all times.
1. You never hear about accidental hand shooting at 2:45am in JOCO. Kudos to KCMO for making crime a 24 hour obsession. No word yet out of the Omega Man camp if this was a hate crime. I am sure that he is still trying to get the location right.
2. Another 2am shooting, this time in Lee's Summit. I truly feel for the good people of that town having to live that close to KCMO.
3. Merriam sucks so bad that this woman tried to jump off an overpass.
4. Business owners on Troost get robbed. Snow is wet.
5. It ain't an East Side party unless someone gets shot.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I was surprised this morning when I saw Tony link to Present "Magazines" top 10 blogs of the metro this morning. I figured that at least Tony was above the joining in of the circle jerk but I guess I was wrong.
Those of you that joined in on that circle jerk should be ashamed of yourselves for allowing your blog to become part of some sorta emo popularity party. Good lord.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
NOTE TO THE RACIST FROM THE EAST. WHEN FIGHTING CRIME AND LOOKING FOR TIPS YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET THE LOCATION OF THE CRIME RIGHT.
It appears that Omega man doesn't know the difference between Lee's Summit and Leawood. HOW FREAKING FUNNY IS THAT! He is looking for a tip for a shooting that never happened errrrrrrrr it did happen only it was on the other side of the state line.
Does this still make it a hate crime.
HOLY CRAP THIS IS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I seriously think that this guy has last his mind and is very close to self destruction. In his recent myspace posting he blasts Leawood for being a racist community and that the shooting of a girl was a hate crime for no other reason than it happening in JOCO. His hatred and bigotry is exactly what is wrong with the metro and his words cause more division amongst its citizens. These PR stunts of fear and hate are nothing more than attempts for him to have some attention given to him.
This guys own words are contridictions
"If race relations in KC could improve the city would be a whole hell of a lot better. People would care about all the crimes in the city. Urban blight would not exist. "
"A Black girl shot in the face in Leawood, KS.This is the same place that used to have laws that did not allow anyone of color to live there. It's the same place that City Hall workers took bets about how many Black would die in a year due to homicides in the hood. It's also very close to the shopping center where a store gave out a Dumb N-word reciept to a Black consumer. So, the concept of a hate crime would not be unheard of"
I think his words speak volumes for his true intentions.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
This is a rough draft so bare with me.
12 School superintendents
11 homicides in planning
10 Vacant homes a burning
9 Teachers striking
8 "Mammies" a milking
7 Companies closing
6 Car jackings
5 an arena with VACANCYYYYYYY
4 City Counsel turds
3 Conventions Leaving
2 Teams that suck
AND A CRAPPY MAYORS CHRISTMAS TREE
Today while I was hard at work in my office I was flipping through the Pitch website (as I said it is great lunchtime reading) and stumbled across this little story. It appears that Lee Jeans is the company behind the hideous creation known as "mom jeans". These jeans are the most depressing thing I have ever seen on a woman. Even more sickening then fat women wearing spandex and even worst than stirrup pants.
These jeans completely destroy the appearance of a woman and should be outlawed at once.
Since this is a JOCO company I am all in favor of putting together a picket line in front of their building next week.
Nothing says "I don't give a crap anymore" like a woman wearing mom jeans.
Just to remind you that Scrooge is more than a movie. I pulled these headlines to the side to remind you that while most of us are celebrating this week in our comfortable JOCO homes, there are those out there not as fortunate as us. There are also people out there that want to ruin our way of life and will not rest until we are as miserable as them.
1. 13 year old kid that was tied to a tree and tortured for 18 hours back in June couldn't make it to Christmas.
2. Road Rage in Dallas kills 2 people. Tis da season.
3. Remember the Boston Tea Party? Good, cus we may need to drop some tea in a harbor again if these bastards get their way.
4. Don't these people know that the only acceptable time to steal is in a time of crisis. Looting is much cooler than shoplifting.
5. Gang raping lesbians isn't included in the 12 days of Christmas is it? On a side note she was raped which should be punishable by death, so I don't understand why they had to include the fact that she was a lesbian in the story.
6. The people of Venezuela are being denied one of the finest dining venues ever conceived (THE FOOD COURT) by their dictator.
7. Iowa man guilty of selling Teen Girls off for Christmas.
8. Milkman turns Dopeman. Nothing says Merry Christmas more than buying your Grandma a dime bag.
9. Your Christmas Hot Chocolate may kill you, seriously.
10. Your Wii could kill you, not so seriously.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I wonder how the cold weather effected the hardworking killers, dealers, bangers and whores of the Metro area.
1. Mental Case loose in KCK. Talk about finding a needle in a haystack............
2. Metro residents living in rural areas are no longer safe from the criminals ways of KCMO.
3. The odds of actually running across a taxi while in the metro are slim to none. That is what makes the story of this recent KCK shooting victim all that much more incredible.
4. Who hasn't killed someone this way??????????????
5. Lee's Summit is slowly turning into a KCMO anex. Yet another shooting in the burbs.
6. Talk about using your resources. This is a great story about a local prison escape.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
If you read these stories you will have something to talk about today. So be interesting today instead of your usual dry, boring, ignorant self.
1. It is a good day in America when Union workers have to go without work for a month. Merry Christmas UAW from Chrysler.
2. Is the eating of cats really the biggest "RIGHTS" problem the people of China are facing?
3. Is anyone going to shed a tear over an MSNBC reporter getting mugged?
4. SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! not really. Obama Stimulus package is going to be full of pork. I thought Muslims hated pork?
5. Can you really trust the Church nowadays?????????????????
6. How do I get one of these bags?
7. I didn't think that the G Spot was such a controversial subject?
8. KCMO IS FIGHTING CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, they are instead focusing in on invading your privacy and preventing red light running.
9. Wal Mart removes Pro Islamic doll from shelves.
Public School -- 1957 vs. 2008
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2008- ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy .
It seems like anyone and everything associated with Roger Clemens his year has turned to crap. Now it turn out that Mindy McCready has attempted to kill herself due to it being leaked that Roger cheated on his wife with her when she was 16 years old.
For being more liberal than most liberals
For not having the right strategy for Iraq
For not being able to catch Bin Laden in 7 years
For pushing our country into socialism
For reaching across the aisle and not getting anything in return
For doing such a piss poor job than an idiot with no experience seemed capable of taking his place
For being unmotivating and reactionary
For letting me down.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Top 10 stories that well informed JOCOIANS should be reading today.
1. Pretty soon you will have to pay a tax if you take more than one dump a day in NYC.
2. Is Steve Jobs sick? IPOD owners every where need to keep an eye on this guys health.
3. Bush tries to defend his leap into socialism.
4. Yet another Obama associate is heading into legal problems. This time it couldn't of happened to a more deserving guy.
5. Woman PTA leader caught banging 13 year old boy in the back of her car. IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT!
6. Isn't it great that our government is giving the title CZAR to posts in charge of segments of our economy?
7. What kind of sick parents would name their kid ADOLPH HITLER?
8. I still remember watching this made for tv movie when I was kid and it has scared me ever since. I hope that this is really the guy and it brings closure for the family.
9. Arabs to cut oil production in an effort to screw you at the pump.
10. Time says that Obama is the Person of the year. BIG F'n SURPRISE!
Due to the overwhelming response to last weeks section on sex articles in the news I have decided to make this a weekly section of the blog.
1. It turns out that teens teaching other teens about sex was a bad idea. Slutty teens will now have to find other ways to work on their leadership skills.
2. Sex takes 2nd behind the internet. What they didn't ask is if they would choose sex or Internet without porn....
3. Celebrate the birth of Christ with sex.
4. Heidi Klum discusses how she gets her self in the mood........
5. When is it considered cheating? Didn't we get all of these answers from "Road Trip"?
6. Did you know that NYC has a museum of sex?
7. Creepy trends in Techy Sex products.
8. "Sex workers rights"??????? Good lord.
9. Ten worst sex tips given by Cosmo
10. The easiest article to write I have ever seen on the internet "men like lingerie"
1. Getting shot in KCMO is so common nowadays that it isn't even the lead in this story. Instead the fact that the gurney broke took the headlines.
2. The best football player in the State of Kansas (not residing in Lawrence) is about to say good by.
3. Yet another untrustworthy lawyer.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Since I gave you the worst I guess I should give you the best.
Sports Talk Show Host - Soren Petro
Syndicated Radio Show - Glenn Beck
Meteorologist - Mike Thompson
AM Talk show host - Darla Jaye
News Programming - KMBC
Journalist - Michael Mahoney
News Website - KSHB
Radio Station - 810 WHB
TV Sports Anchor - Frank Boal
TV News Anchor - Larry Moore
Media Member covering politics - Dave Helling
Sports Columnist - Jason Whitlock
New Radio Personality - Jason Anderson
Covered Story in the Media - Kelsie Smith
Idea in Media - Star Layoffs
Metro TV Station - Metro Sports
Media controlled Blog - Crime Scene KC
Reading over lunch - The Pitch
Special Interest Group - NRA
School District - Blue Valley
Republican -Sam Brownback
Democrat - Mike Sanders
Community Activist - JOCO SOB
Kansas Politician - Sam Brownback
Missouri Politician - Kit Bond
Local Cause - Crime Prevention
Community to live in - JOCO
Street to live on - Mission Road
JOCO City - Leawood
Least Blight - Leawood
Missouri Burb to live in - Lee's Summit
Town to live in - Lawrence
Highway to drive on - 435
Street for Development in JOCO - 135th street
place to rent an apartment in JOCO -Town Center Plaza
JOCO HS - Blue Valley North
JOCO Elem School - Blue River
JOCO Park - Heritage Park
JOCO Police Cars - Lenexa
Trash Pick Up - Overland Park
Place to live in KCMO - WALDO
Historical Marker - Liberty Memorial
Tourist Attraction - The Plaza
Pizza Place - George's Pizza
BBQ - Oklahoma Joes
Deli - New York Deli
Fast Food Drive Through - Wendy's
Steak - J. Gilberts
Fries -Oklahoma Joes
Hyped Fast Food Place - Culvers
Bar Food - Johnny's
Italian Food -Jaspers
Service - Melting Pot
Meal for the Money - Amore de Brazil
Seafood - McCormick & Schmicks
Mexican - Abuelos
Fast Food Mexican - Taco Via
Lunch Buffet - Waldo Pizza
Burger - Flying Saucer
Chili Cheese Fries - The Peanut
Donuts - Krispy Kreme
Breakfast - Cascones Diner
Drug Store Chain -Walgreens
Electronics - Best Buy
Grocery Store Chain- Hen House
Place to buy Meat - McGonigles
Pay TV/Internet - AT&T
Mall - Oak Park
Gas Station -Quick Trip
Priced Computers - Best Buy
Priced BBQ Equipment - Oklahoma Joes BBQ Store
Place to Buy a Motorcycle - Worth Harley Davidson
New Shopping Area - Village West
Box Store - Target
Outdoors Store - Bass Pro Shop
Hardware Store - Nuts & Bolts
Book Store - Barnes & Noble
College Athletic Department - KU
College Basketball Tean -KU
College Football Team - MU
Sports Franchise - Royals
Athlete in Public - Tony Gonzalez
General Manager - Dayton Moore
Chiefs Player - Brandon Flowers
Royals Player -Zack Greinke
Games to Attend - Royals
Cheerleaders - Brigade
Entertainment Area - P&L District
Bar -McCoys Public House
Movie Theater - AMC 30 Olathe
Place to Attend an Event - Sprint Center
Event - NASCAR RACES
Place to see Animals - Deanna Rose
Place to Entertain your Kids -Power Play
People watching - Casinos
Hotel For a Weekend - Westin Crown Center
Romantic Dinner - The Melting Pot
TV Sitcom - The Office
TV Show - The Wire
Place to Work - Hallmark
Blog Topic - Crime
Blog Gadget - Sitemeter
Blog Topic - Obama
Place to get an animal - Craigslist
Charitable donations - Toys for Tots
Place of Worship - Your home
Place to get Shot - Within 3 blocks of Independence Avenue
Place to see fat chicks think they are hot - Ren Fest
Place to see girls with Daddy issues - Hooters
Place to get bit by a stray dog - Central Avenue
Place to see White Gang Bangers - Oak Park Mall
Place to see Inbreeding - The Great Mall
I just read this story and the first image that came to my head was the South Park episode in which Sally Struthers was hoarding all the snackie cakes while the poor people in Africa ate beans and rice.
Is this the best we can do for the homeless in the area? Beans and Rice? This is America, not Ethiopia. I find it hard to believe that with all the donations that are given to local charities that our local hobos are facing a freaking shortage of African aide food.
1. Silver Shells, Silver Shells, It's Christmas Time in the inner city, Ring A ling, see them bling, someone will be dead today. KCK shootout leads to one dead and a couple of others injured.
2. The phrase "Merriam Hotel" sounds trashy doesn't it?
3. The need for the new Call of Duty simply overwhelmed this young man.
4. NBC Action news gives JOCOians tips on how to protect their homes from KCMO residents.
Monday, December 15, 2008
I can not take the elitist attitude that one JOCO blog has been demonstrating. If you follow my friend in blogging SOJOCO's blog you will notice that he has started a new weekly wine segment. His wine selections are obviously geared toward rich, white jocoians but what about the rest of the metro?
Well I am here to let you know that not all JOCOIANS are white elitist yuppies. In the spirit of the holidays I am going to provide those of you in KCK & KCMO with some fine wine ideas that you might be able to afford.
1. Wild Irish Rose
Here is a great website to help you with your wine selections. Good luck and Happy Holidays from your one true friend in JOCO.
While JOCOians were complaining about the temperature this morning as they walked out to their cars the East Side was up and trying to kill people while riding a bike. THAT IS TRUE DEDICATION! You would never catch a jocoian riding a bike in this weather let alone attempt to kill 3 people.
If 4 degree temps aren't enough to stop the gang bangers of this city do you really think a mayor that can't control his own wife stands a chance?
Saturday, December 13, 2008
It's time for the 1st (hopefully annual) worst of the metro awards. These results are completely scientific and can not be disputed.
Worst Sports Talk Show Host - Kevin Keitzman
Worst JOCO media - Steve Rose
Worst Meteorologist - Katie Horner
Worst AM Talk show host -Chris Stigal
Worst News Programming - KCTV 5 Smut Undercover
Worst Journalist - Mike Hendricks
Worst News Website - FOX 4
Worst Radio Station - 610 Sports
Worst TV Sports Anchor - Len Dawson
Worst TV News Name - Devon Lucie
Worst Sports Columnist - Jeffery Flannagan.
Worst New Radio Personality - Nick Wright
Worst Covered Story in the Media - Gang Violence
Worst Idea in Media - INK
Worst Metro TV Station - Time Warner Weather Channel
Worst Special Interest Group - LA RAZA
Worst Public Official - Mark Funkouser
Worst School District - KCMOSD
Worst Ballot initiative - Blight Rail
Worst Republican - Phil Kline
Worst Democrat - ALL OF THEM
Worst Political Advisor - Steve Glorioso
Worst Community Activist - Omega man
Worst Kansas Politician - Sebelius
Worst Missouri Politician -Claire McCaskill
Worst Local Cause - KCMO Dog Parks
Worst Fake Solution - Mayors against guns
Worst community to live in - East KCMO
Worst Street to live on - Quindaro
Worst JOCO City - Roeland Park
Worst Blight - East Bottoms
Worst Missouri Burb to live in - Raytown
Worst Town to live in - Sugar Creek
Worst Highway to drive on - I-70
Worst Sign your Neighborhood is Screwed - Payday Loan Store Opens
Worst Street for Development in JOCO - 75th Street
Worst place to rent an apartment in JOCO - Shawnee 75th and Quivira area
Worst JOCO HS - Shawnee Mission North
Worst JOCO Elem School - Rosehill
Worst Place to Speed in JOCO - Leawood on Roe
Worst JOCO Park - Olathe Lake
Worst JOCO Police Cars - Shawnee
Worst Trash Pick Up - Olathe
Worst Pizza Place - CiCi's
Worst BBQ - Wyandotte
Worst Coffee House - Starbucks
Worst Chicken - KFC
Worst Fast Food Drive Through - Winsteads
Worst Burger - A&W
Worst Steak - Lone Star
Worst Fries - Burger King
Worst Hyped Fast Food Place - Chik-Fil-A
Worst Bar Food - 810 Zone
Worst Italian Food -Olive Garden
Worst Service - Famous Daves P&L District
Worst Meal for the Money - Bristol
Worst Car Dealership - Superior Chevrolet
Worst Drug Store Chain - CVS
Worst Electronics - Circuit City
Worst Grocery Store - Sun Fresh
Worst Pay TV/Internet - Comcast
Worst Mall - Metcalf South
Worst Gas Station - Shell
Worst Priced Computers - Microcenter
Worst priced BBQ Equipment - Smoke n Fire
Worst Place to Buy a Motorcycle - Shawnee Cycle Plaza
Worst College Athletic Department - Kansas State
Worst College Basketball Tean - UMKC
Worst College Football Team - Kansas State
Worst Sports Franchise - Brigade
Worst Athlete in Public - Larry Johnson
Worst General Manager - Carl Peterson
Worst Chiefs Player - Croyle
Worst Royals Player -
Worst Games to Attend - Wizards
Worst Cheerleaders - Chiefs
Worst Mascot - Willie the Wildcat
Worst Fans - Kansas State
Worst Entertainment Area - 18th & Vine
Worst Bar - Brooksider
Worst Movie Theater - Dickinson at the Great mall
Worst Place to Attend an Event - Kemper Arena
Worst Event - First Fridays
Worst Place to see Animals - KC ZOO
Worst Place to Entertain your Kids - Science City
Worst Human Being - Fred Phelps
Worst Hobby - Street Cycling
Worst Place to Work - Sprint
Worst Blog Topic - Downtown Parking
Worst Blog Gadget - Music that plays when you open the website
Worst New Car to Own - Smart Car
Worst Cop Out Blog Topic - Racism
Worst Trendy Cause - Going Green
Worst place to get an animal - Wayside Waifs (WAY OVER PRICED)
Worst Charitable donations - Church's (money goes for new buildings not the poor)
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
TEN STORIES THAT YOU MUST READ TODAY.
1. Girl stabs boyfriend for refusing sex. If you take a look at the mugshot you will see why he did.
2. More liberal media cutbacks.
3. AlGore is the only person on earth that makes Funkhouser look intelligent.
4. Barney Frank admits that saving the Auto companies is nothing more than pandering to the UAW.
5. Yet another Obama associate under investigation
6. Could someone please tell Colin Powell that he is no longer needed nor wanted in the Republican party. This guy turned traitor on the party how many times and now wants to bash conservative voices???????????????????????????????
7. Hell froze over!
8. A web browser for African Americans??????? Do we really need to have BROWSERS BASED ON ETHNICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. 20% of teens are having sex, well kinda, sorta, in a nerd way.
10. Caylee's body found??????
Independence, Raytown, Grandview etc........