The Wire Motivational Poster

The Wire - 70 degree days

The Mayans have nothing on my ability to predict future events and this weekends violence proves it.  Never before in this city's recent history have the elitist ruling class been more afraid.  Trust me, in two weeks they will have that area resembling East Germany.  

For over 5 years now we have been discussing the crime epedimic in the metro and for 5 years it has gone ignored.  In this time, city leaders have even stated that violent crime has dropped and the Mayor, city counsel and chief of police have played blind, deaf and dumb.  ONLY NOW that it has reached the sacred grounds of the plaza are people starting to pay attention and promise "action".  

I wouldn't count on it working though.  If we know one thing about liberal elitist in this town it is that they are all symbolism without substance.  

1.  North East residents are pissed at all the attention that the plaza has been getting - Murder

2.  3 Kids shot under the age of 16 in front of Cheescake Factory on the Plaza.  And the one and only decent place left in KCMO is history.  

3.  East Side cars decide to join in on the killing.  

4.  KCK makes a run at KCMO but falls short with only 2 shootings.  54th and Crap Street.

5.  KCMO shooters aren't sexist - Woman shot/killed

The Wire - Drop Dead

Will the weekends nice weather provide us with an increase in the metros body count?  You betcha

1.  You know that your city sucks when people stop and jump from a viaduct.
2.  Are KCMO residents crossing into JOCO to burn down playgrounds?  Of course they are.
3.  KCK cops are skilled in the art of finding dead bodies.
4.  Perv rapes 14 year old 
5. Firefighter pulls gun on buddies due to empty gas tank on truck...

The Wire - Endurance

Weather is no obstacle when it comes to murdering people in the metro.  The criminals in some city's might be waiting for a cold front but ours are out making it happen. I want you to read the stories below and tell me that you aren't proud to live in the metro. 

1.  IRS building evacuated due to suspicious substance.  Could they of actually found an Emanuel Clever tax return?

2.  WTF is a crime protester? And shouldn't streets lined with corpses be incentive enough to deal with the heat?

3.  Drug deals, murder and hip hop.   We keep it real Yo!

4.  KCK steps up with shootings and a dropped body.  The 913 is on the scoreboard 

5.  2am was bad on both sides of the hood. KCMO slips a murder in at the last minute. 

6.  These 3 douche bags didn't even realize that they had been stabbed.  Stay Classy!

The Wire - Weekend Ketchup

Do gangsters, rapists, murderers and other psychos take it easy when it is hot out?  Hell no.  If anything they step up their game.  Can you imagine what this group could do with some decent weather?  

1.  This douche bag thought that wearing camo pants would hide him while he robbed a bank.
2.  Something tells me that Club Sweat isn't a popular hang out for Jocoians looking for a good time.  Shooting.
3.  Rap Concerts are usually so peaceful... Midland Theater Brawl.
4.  Maybe it would be simpler if they just reported the streets that they didn't find dead bodies on in KCK.

There are several more stories but I think you get the idea.

The Wire - The Metro is F'd

It's always the same neighborhoods and headlines in the police blotter. The metro has been desensitized to violence in those neighborhoods which means that nothing will ever be done to solve the problems there.  It has become as much a part of our city as BBQ and crappy baseball.  

1.  Happy Rock Cop dragged for 2 blocks by one of our stand up citizens. 

2.  Blunts will cost more in the metro thanks to this mushroom hunter. 

3.  Another North East arson fire improves property values in the metros bests neighborhood to raise a child with a lifespan of 23 years of age.

4.  It takes the KCMO police department 30 years to catch a rapist (and they are bragging about it)

5.  Nothing beats the classic drive by - 1 dead - 1 injured - North East again.

6.  The last thing you expect in a bar fight is someone pulling a chainsaw out.

The Wire - Weekend Ketchup

First weekend in the 90's without rain and production is up in the metros killing fields. 

1.  Well this is a first even for KCMO. Domestic issues solved with Gasoline and matches. 
2.  Is apologizing for creating child porn enough for the religious right to once again move past the hypocrisy that exists within their groups.
3.  Murder Suicide in the east side.  Mother and Son?
4.  Are knife murders making a come back?  KCK.
5.  Dead woman found in her eastside home.  Suspicious, really? 
6.  KCK residents renovate their neighborhoods with Arson. 
7.  Federal Stupidity - Feds seize elderberry juice.  Because THAT is the biggest danger facing our country.
8.  KCMO police attempt to keep a murder off the books....

The Wire - Mo Murda

2 murders and it is only Wednesday.  Vegas odds makers have nothing on my ability to predict murders in the metro. 

1. When the headline to this story read "Johnson County" I couldn't believe it.  Then I saw that this topless WT whore did this in Gardner and well, it just kinda fit.  Gardner is our Raytown.
2.  There is no such thing as safety in numbers when you live in KCMO.  1 Dead East Side.
3.  General Store Robbery?  I hope Floyds Barber Shop is safe.
4.  East Side Problem Solver is a Revolver.  40 year old woman killed

The Wire - Weekend Ketchup

I am going out on a limb this year and predicting 2.5 bodies dropped a week this summer in KCK & KCMO. Anyone going to take the over on that number?

1.  Once again a Missouri resident comes into our county to rob us.  Can't we have some drones patrol our borders?
2.  Some psycho in Missouri killed a baby, stashed it in a duffel bag and then threw it in a pond. 
3.  You deserve to get busted if you try and rob a house in the middle of the freaking afternoon. 
4.  East side Grandma can cross "get shot in drive by" off her bucket list.
5.  KCMO residents show their class by trashing a famous statue.
6.  NKC criminals think that Dominos Pizza is a goldmine...
7.  Kansas Hospitals conduct groundbreaking research, Missouri Hospitals cook meth........

Kansas City Easter - Blood Bunny

Do gang bangers get time and a half for putting in work on a holiday?

1.  KCK residents participate in the annual dead body hunt.

2.  Cleaver blvd. shooting kicks Easter of in style, The East Side way.

3.  I say we kill these 6 sex offenders and see if they return from the dead.

4.  Missouri trash convicted of raping women in the 80's

5.  If the bullets don't get you in KCK the cars will.

The Wire - It's Not What You Know, It's What You Can Prove

Two Weekends in a row with a low murder count?  Just goes to show you that even murderers and gang bangers like to work Monday - Friday and take the weekends off like the rest of us.  For far to long they have been working 24/7 and neglecting their families just so they could increase our crime stats.  Maybe the unionized?

1.  KCMO cops remove a drunk driver from the streets, forever.
2.  Dead Body Sunday - Northland
3.  KCK Gangbangers keep it old school with a Drive By murder. 
4.  Lawrence chicks aren't use to showing the goods off unless they have at least 1 weak drink
5.  Are there really any "suspicious" deaths in KCK ? 
6.  Sex offender gets off easy with a life sentence. 
7.  East Side man robs Circle K wearing a surgical mask.  Makes sense.  They are light weight and disposable.  At least our criminals are innovative.

Murder slump?

Anyone else feel let down by this weekends shooting/murder numbers?  2 days of nice weather and all that you could do is 7? We have come to expect more out of you!

1.  KC murderers open mobile creation business.  2 dead.
2.  Another KCMO resident takes his banking business to JOCO.  PV Bank Robbed
3.  BV's Chirst vs. KCMO cops just in time for Easter.
4.  4 dead in murder suicide.
5.  KCMO shooters don't rest on Sundays
6.  Joco people don't know how to attack cops.

The Wire -Dead City Walking

Look for a nice uptick in crime this weekend.  The weather is nice, guns are loaded and there is plenty of revenge to be had.  Happy shootings this weekend fellas.

1.  Psycho plots to shoot up High School in Missouri
2.  Family of molested girl passed on telling the cops and decided to just keep the man away.  OH, the girl was 5.
3.  Gardner standoffs suck compared to KCMO standoffs.
4.  JOCO homes will continue to be burglarized until we put up check points on 435 to block all Missouri residents from our county unless they have papers
5.  You know times are tough when the professional crooks in Missouri have to use ROCKS to rob people.
6.  It wouldn't be the same if we didn't have a KCMO stabbing to report.  50 stitches is decent but I would of liked to of see a little more effort.
7.  12 year old raped by 18 year old in Grandview.
8.  Home Invasions in KCMO are making a comeback.
9.  KCK steps up to the plate with a nice gas station shooting off of 10th street.  Rare for such a nice part of town.....

Victorian Vision of Ogden’s “The Wire”

FREAKING AWESOME!

The Wire - Spring Cleaning

Any good murder handicapper can tell you that temperature is a key factor when predicting violent crime in this city.  The first day of Spring this year didn't let us down. 

1.  House Party 4 - 3 shot 1 killed in KCMO
2.  It's 3am, you are in East KCMO and at a bar WTF did you think would happen - 2 shot - 1 killed
3.  Going to a 7-11 in East KCMO is pretty freaking stupid - Dead
4.  KCK man arrested for being a naked perv in a strangers house.





www.cel-tekk.com

The Wire - The Return

Did  "The Wire" put us on the local blog map?  Damn right it did.  And just like chalk outlines on a spring KCMO day,we are back.

1.  Gun laws didn't prevent this fine upstanding felon from bringing a gun to the Parade. 
2.  Do KCMO residents get dead body disposal with their trash pickup?
3.  Does anyone shed a tear anymore when a gas station (KCK of course) gets robbed? Turnabout is fair play.
4.  No weapons or demand note?  Bank robberies suck nowadays. 
5.  If you break your infants legs in KCMO you will only get probation.
6.  Daylight savings time means earlier robberies and gunshots in South KC.
7.  POS De Soto woman pleads guilty to locking her autistic son in the attic.  The story says that the crime scene photos resembled photos of a concentration camp.  This woman shouldn't get a sentence, she should just get the chair. 

KANSAS CITY BLEEDS

There are so many over achievers this weekend that it was hard to choose who to feature.  The below pieces of crap did a great job of separating themselves from the rest of the pack.

1.  Only a thief in KCMO would be dumb enough to target a store in which the highest priced item is a dollar. 
2.  Cold temperatures don't frighten off Prospect ave. shooters.  1 dead.
3.  KCMO alley ways serve as tombs for its residents.
4.  Olathe Tough guy murders 3 week old child.  Have a nice short life in prison you piece of Sh&*
5.  Wichita is just now getting their first homicide of the year?  Slackers
6.  16 Year Old KCK chick get acceptance letter from her first choice prison.  Full Ride scholarship for life.

THE WIRE - OPERATION BLOOD WATCH

Here is a listing of local crime events canceled due to current weather conditions. 

1.  Drive By Shootings

2.  Car Jackings

3.  Home Invasions

4.  Whoring 

5.  Slanging

6.  Stabbings

Be sure to tune in early tomorrow for more listings

THE WIRE - Shell Casings

When there is only a single murder in KCMO it almost seems like a fluke.  I am sure that the rest of the bodies will start showing up later this week.

1,  Ain't no party like an East Side Party if you want to get shot.

2.  This story could only take place in a town called Gypsum, Ks.  Stupid Hillbillies

3.  The Wornall area is getting worst each week that passes.

4.  Gun shot wounds are so common in KCK that they are now being called "minor injuries" .  Two shot in KCK gang battle.

THE WIRE - RED SNOW

Despite the cold temperatures, Chiefs game, warning from the Mayor and the Aflockalypse the city's best and brightest continued on with their murdering ways.  This goes to show you the production level that an unionized workforce can provide.

1.  BP spills blood up in the Northland with the help of some fine citizens.
2.  The only time we ever hear of a street in KCK is when somebody gets shot.  May Lane gets 2.
3.  North OP crime continues to rise.  Jimmy Johns Robbery
4.  Gladstone Bank Robbed and nobody cares.
5.  Assault weapons are the alarm clock of choice in the East Side